Messed up.

Here I am again...with another boring morning...Why do i get up so early? For who =/? For somebody...for who I have to wait alot...and yeah waiting hurts...and yes it's good to wake up early...but it gets really boring when you don't have anyone around you. And when I have to have to get up early...I don't =/
Shall I take a shower =/ ? Uff. Too lazy to take one =/ But crap I think I'll have too =/ I mean like yukh. Don't want to go to a friends house all messed up.
I want to leave everything...everybody...like you know...not forever...because I know that I won't be able to hold on alone for so long...but at least for a while...just want to fresh up...stay alone...chill like I do by myself...and not wanting anybody to cheer me up or make me happy...I want to be alone...but right now I'm alone...and its freaking boring...maybe it's because...I am waiting for dudy...I want some time...when I have to wait for no one...It was way better before...when it was just me and me and me...nobody to hurt me...nobody to wait for...nobody to think about...not just dudy...am talking about everybody...all my friends...everybody...and the more I want to be alone the more I'm getting surrounded by people...and I'm tired of the word "promise"...I can't keep any more promises...at least not now...I remember...no actually I had forgotten...Zunaira reminded me yesterday night....that like long ago...maybe in gr5 or 6...I used to cry...cry because I never had friends...was always left out...ignored...laughed at...and look at me now...everything changes with time...everybody changed...I changed....I don't like you know not like it....I love it like this XD...because...I don't know...maybe because many people like me now XD they trust me...laugh with me...its a part of me now...but I just need some time...just a little bit...
And guess what...I had no dreams today...so slept well...but...still can't stop thinking about him...yes I confess...i like him...and its increasing day by day...but I don't want to leave my dudy XD
I don't know why you are not talking to me...I just said that I don't want to think about it...Annie did everything...wanted to do so much...she couldn't...and I saw her cry...I know how she felt...and me...crap...I dont have to clarify myself...do what you want to..because you have a future...I don't...and I don't have to explain anything I do...yes I do want to be the richest lady...and crap...those are just my dreams...I just say that stuff...to make me happy...
"....he don't see you like I do....beautiful not just for show...."