Monday, June 29, 2009

Heart Beat.

Sigh. Just skipped through the chat logs XD [dudy] and my eyes hurt XD.

Everything looks so dull XD Nothing mattered as long as you were there XD but now your gone XD Came back to my senses…looked around and…it’s just so incomplete XD but yes it was the right thing to do. I’m proud of you =] but a part of my silly heart still wants you to come back XD [the selfish-part-of-the-heart]. But have to learn to control myself =] I have no idea what I’m going to do now =/ Going to be alone in the vacations XD

“...we’re afraid of words we both haven’t said…it aint right…read your messages twice thrice…”

Every good day has a bad ending XD and every down has an up =] I had a great day yesterday...look at me now…but I know that my this down will bring me up soon XD

Listening to this instrumental…it’s like I can understand the music XD Like I want to write it down =/ Get what I’m saying =P? Khair it’s okay =] Well, you can’t be more dumb than I am =D *proud smile* =P

Man this nail polish rocks (L) everybody liked it =D even Ms. Sameena =O I was so embarrassed when she told me =P It seriously freaks me out when I look up…and find her looking at me =P woh bhi smiling =P I smile back and quickly look away =P She “thinks” I’m a good student…and so she doesn’t give me much attention =/ and because of that I start making designs on my book :| and writing “dudy…dudy…” everywhere :| and I stop listening to whatever she is saying :| and and I’m not that scared of her like the rest of my fellows are :| she should give me attention too =( I’m not that good at biology now =P Crap have to check bio ka test =/

Had a freaking busy day yesterday XD running here and there…went for shopping with my guests…gosh I told mama I that I don’t want to go =/ but no =/ mama, I’m a big girl now =P no no =/ am still a kid for her =/ woh tau I’m going to stay for her for the rest of my life :| anyways mum n dad n those guests were together and me and Annie were on our own =D well we freaked out when the Saudi guys started following us :| Can’t a girl live and enjoy in peace here =/? Naah =/

So it’s my old habit to go to the perfume section and spray some on me (specially the men ones =P dude seriously men perfumes are way better than females ones) =P So I went to that side and picked up this black bottle which was quite appealing and without thinking I sprayed so much on me =P well I thought it was body spray or something =P when I turned around Annie is like starring at me…asked her what happened…and she pointed and said “yay kia kiya hai =O?” and I look down at myself and tadaaaaaaaaaaa =D I’m all white from the front :| that wasn’t a body spray :| it was a after-shave Gillette ki cream =P man that was so embarrassing XD but it smelled nice =D seriously =P

Thanks for singing that song Rija =] It was very nice =] how was mine =P?? =D haan haan pata hai =P chup raho =P acha tha =D

Blogging makes me feel better =] though I still wish that we didn’t…was looking forward to the end of august XD…one year…you still live =] (I mean you do live live =P just saying that you live as in =/ I don’t know how to explain it =P You are smart =P khudhi samjh lo what I’m trying to say dudy XD)

Me and Annie bought the same kind of rings =D In the morning it got stuck in my middle finger =P freaked me out :| The upper part of my finger turned blue :|

“…you just walked out of my dreams…you don’t know how very special you are…you leave me breathless…” [dudy (L)] -sorry XD let me say stuff XD because it’s the last time you’d be reading my blog as a friend XD =]

I need a haircut again =/ Don’t feel like having long hair =/ chotay look better =] and are

easier to handle =]

Somebody please cut the water melon for me =P I feel extremely lazy =/ yes point to be noted =/ When don’t I feel lazy :|? ( Mano says = at school =P Me = Mano, be quiet *stern look* =P)

“…lemme me take my time to say…you’re the finest babe…” [no not for ju dudy =P]

This song always reminded me of Edward and Bella =/ I don’t know why =/

[ My “twilight-story” has come to an end XD A part of me wants it to start again with my Edward at the right time in the future XD]

I found the hero in me today =] “….look inside you…and be strong….and you finally see the truth that the hero lies in you…” *smiles* I surprised myself XD surprised Hajra XD

Didn’t do what Rija expected me to do XD just wanted to make things easier for my dudy =] less painful =] I hope it did help =] [I know it did =P]

*rubs eyes* thuk gayi hoon main =/ but I don’t want to sleep or study =/ and home work is so much =/ I’m dead =)

Hahahaha SaraH I so miss the “chuddy-chuddy-this-this-chuddy-chuddy-that-that” =P We’ll do it loads of times tomorrow =] Oh crap no way =O we have double bio tomorrow =/ awho just one lesson free =/

*sleeping on the chair*

Will I ever get to hear that voice again XD? I guess not XD zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I guess not XD but your voice lives tooo =P *laughs*

*eating ice* seriously eat ice :| it’s so cool =P nice nice nice =P I can’t sleep at night until I don’t eat ice :| when it melts :| amazing yaar :|

Rija stop dying for it =P No actually do die =/ cuz when you don’t die for my blog I feel so bad =( as if my blog is nothing =( So please die =]

The word “kuray” in Punjabi is so cool =D love it when H-dhami uses it in his songs =D love pronouncing it =D like kooo-ray =P

Okay am getting scolded =P have to study =( [khekehkhkeeekhekeh going to copy Zunairas chemistry homework =P I’ll copy Physics in school =P and I’ll do bio ka hw abhi =D]

Bye people =]

Thank you for reading my post =]

Thank you for dying Rija =]

Ummm Thank you SaraH =P [for nothing =P]

Thank you Hajra and Annie for standing by my side =]

Thank you Dudy for giving me time XD

I love you. Yeah you too Rija and Sarah =P XD

“...I hope the days come easy….” [Dudy] (L)

“…always stand by my side…” [Rija] (L)

“…chuddy chuddy this this…” [Sarah] (L) =P

Goodnight…Sleeptite…Sweet dreams =]

*Hugs* =]

Man this green hair-catch looks oo-glay on me =/

Friday, June 12, 2009

nahi nahi karlo

Sleepless night…I try to move on….but I know I’m just foolong myself…Or give my heart to someone else (8) school tomorrow =D not bad =/ though I’d prefer staying home =P but before we break up now now now (8) tell me that we will make it through the end…don’t lie…promise every day your going to try….*sneezzzeeee* Alhumdulillah =) fazool ki post ho gi =P kuch hai hi nae kehnay ko =P I wish I could fly with u….i wish I could lie with you…I wish I could dine with you =) la la la =)

Watch me go…why cant it be the way it was….I lost my locket…the one I loved the most =( angel of my life I miss you =) you know that =( but I feel really bad =/ I don’t know why =/ I mean I know why =P I just cant tell you =/ [dudy]

Oh I so wish I knew how to do that cool walla bhangra =( bhai ki wedding per kerti =P yeah I cant =P itnay zayda logo k samnay :P you kidding me =P I sharma-fy a lot =/

Dudy I had a dream you signed in from your old account =P when you read this and when I come on =P you better sign in from that one okay =P okay! =P meri dreams puri karo =P and make me happy =) okay =P

So I ate 3 oranges at once =D crap. Not a big deal =P I can eat more too :P haan haan main moti hoon =P bus kush =P

Make it rain (8) Lil wayne is ugly =P I mean not ugly =/ he is….umm…werid :| *wondering how much time it takes him to set his hair* =/ larkiyon jaisay baal =P braids :| Uff Uff =/ boys doing girly stuff =/ girls doing boyish stuff =/ sigh sigh. Haan well koi harm tau nae hai =/ banao jaisay baal chahiyain aapko =P

I ruined my shirt =D like like =D I pulled it soo much =P that it is soooo khully now =P like two of me can fit in it =P now you can imagine kitni khulli kerdi hai =P (SaraH à exaggeration =P) everyday I patiently wait….nothing can feel as sweet and real…maybe its true…I’m caught up on you…maybe there’s a chance….(8)

(dudy à sigh, when will she stop listening to music XD) I don’t know =P love you =D

When I put my fingers through your hair XD (8)

Pata hai yesterday I realized that it has been 10 years since me and my cousins (who lived with us here) have seen each other =O that’s so sad =D hehe =P whatever =P I’m so you know =/ like if you think that’s mean and crap of me =/ I don’t care =P well there’s a reason behind me not caring =/ so back off =) =P hayye mela baby =)

Ima put you to bed bed beeeeeeeed =D yes yes rija you too =P and sarah you too =P hahhah (6) I will lock you guys in your rooms =) and I shall torture you =) yes you too dudy =) Haww =P did I say that :| no no =P hayye melay palay say three babies =P how can mama do this to you =) =P I’m gone crazy =) well yes yes I was already crazy =) but I get a little crazier everday =)

I will keep on writing crappy stuff till Annie gives me net =/ because I’m so bored =( nothing else to do =( OMG! Rija Sarah =O I had a dream about coal =O hhehheeh by the way did you guy know…he is here =O dream wasn’t anything big =/ like we were sitting and there was loud music…and I’m saying something to him and he cant hear he comes closer…and I whisper in his ear...and and…and I was going to kiss him =O but but butttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt =O he moved away =P hahahah sucker =P

No one else can take your place =) [Dudy + SaraH + Rija] =)

Kahin na jana =) (8) yay hii yaaayyyy

I can’t get enough =] I never get enough =/ I mean like =/ I don’t :|

So I was watching this documentary type thing on al-Jazeera…it was so sad =(

What have those kids done…to deserve such a death? Did he harm you? What the EFF DID HE DO ?!? DAMMIT I NEED AN ANSWER! Use your brains…you….[want to swear so badly…but I know my dudy would be reading this…]…you &*^%&*#$ *effing angry look*

They have a life…*sniff*…you have no effing right…NO EFFING RIGHT…want me to kill your kids infront of your eyes so you know how it feels for parents to lose their kids?...wish I could screw…wish I could…make you understand…only problem is….you guys are not 10 or something…there are millions of you…only hope is that one of you get to read my blog =P HAHAHAHAHAAHAAHHAAHAHAAHHAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH =P that is soooooooooooo IMPOSSIBLE =P omg I can’t believe I actually thought of a terrorist reading a blog =P who bhi my silly blog =P hahaha =P ok ok enough =P I was so serious here =P

*ouch* dudy aaj meray left shoulder main pain hai =/ my left knee….left leg…left shoulder..the left me is suffering from some kind of disease or something :|


*sitting blankly* OMG! =O I still have 2 pages of bio. Left =( nae kerna mainay *cry1*

Pata hai…I used to have a magic wand :| when I was very small :| I made it myself =P told Rija about it on Wednesday…it was like…like a small purple star…very small…and it had a small hole…so I made this stick type thing…and I joined them =P and tadaa there is my wand as big as one quarter of your little finger =P I still see it =( I want it =( I don’t know where did I lose it =( I was always careless about my things =( I used to think that it did magic….I still believe that it did…I swear :| I’m not dumb =P

And from my childhood stuff I remember this story somebody told me…and I remember the whole of its scary :| =P like…umm…I can actually picture the scenes happening…but I can’t explain it that good…like all I can tell is that…like there’s this window…and there is this witch down there…and 2 friends live in that room…one pushes the other :| and the witch :| get it :|? :P no I swear its scary the I’m imagining it =P

OMG! OMG! When I was little…I was scared to look outside the bathroom or kitchen window…you know why =P…because I always thought that there were huge rocks…and and…dinosaurs thay wahan :| and I was scared of them :| =P

Hahahha and did I tell you =P I used to think that God comes in a helicopter =P to give babies =P hhahahah =P like I used to imagine him holding something and hanging out of the helicopter =P and smiling =P heheh XD

I have nothing else to tell =P and still no net =( I so want to know…who is the….smartest in the world….the prettiest…most handsome…most caring…most loving…most faithful…the most amazing…lovely…laziest…most dumb…I want to meet them =) I want to be them…I want to see how they live…what people think of them…but…who decides who’s the best at what? Not me =P I suck at deciding =P It all comes back to the same problem…because everybody has a different choice…like for example…usually Rija and SaraH don’t like the guys I find hot =P

*stares at the screen* When God? When will Annie give me the net? WHEN??

Hey =D imagine walking on clouds =D soft soft =D [dudy smilesXD if he remembers that thing =P] like they would feel so good against your feet =D *sigh*

What if I was born in 3000 =P Wow. Oho =( you guys would be history then =P I would never imagine people like you guys :| if I was born then =/ then I’d be thinking that what if I was born in 2000 =P ok now its getting crappier =/ =P I should stop :P

Anyways =D

Take care =)

Goodnight. =]

Sleeptight. =)

Sweetdreamz. =]

Have a nice day tomorrow. =)

Love you all =]

O crap I still have bio =/

[one more year…and then we all are separate =( AS passed so quickly =/ WHY? :| it was a great year =) I loved every little bit of it =) I hope A2 goes great too =)]

“….all I ever wanted to see you smiling…” =)

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Messed up.

Here I am again...with another boring morning...Why do i get up so early? For who =/? For somebody...for who I have to wait alot...and yeah waiting hurts...and yes it's good to wake up early...but it gets really boring when you don't have anyone around you. And when I have to have to get up early...I don't =/
Shall I take a shower =/ ? Uff. Too lazy to take one =/ But crap I think I'll have too =/ I mean like yukh. Don't want to go to a friends house all messed up.
I want to leave you know...not forever...because I know that I won't be able to hold on alone for so long...but at least for a while...just want to fresh up...stay alone...chill like I do by myself...and not wanting anybody to cheer me up or make me happy...I want to be alone...but right now I'm alone...and its freaking boring...maybe it's because...I am waiting for dudy...I want some time...when I have to wait for no one...It was way better before...when it was just me and me and me...nobody to hurt me...nobody to wait for...nobody to think about...not just talking about everybody...all my friends...everybody...and the more I want to be alone the more I'm getting surrounded by people...and I'm tired of the word "promise"...I can't keep any more least not now...I actually I had forgotten...Zunaira reminded me yesterday night....that like long ago...maybe in gr5 or 6...I used to cry...cry because I never had friends...was always left out...ignored...laughed at...and look at me now...everything changes with time...everybody changed...I changed....I don't like you know not like it....I love it like this XD...because...I don't know...maybe because many people like me now XD they trust me...laugh with me...its a part of me now...but I just need some time...just a little bit...
And guess what...I had no dreams slept well...but...still can't stop thinking about him...yes I confess...i like him...and its increasing day by day...but I don't want to leave my dudy XD
I don't know why you are not talking to me...I just said that I don't want to think about it...Annie did everything...wanted to do so much...she couldn't...and I saw her cry...I know how she felt...and me...crap...I dont have to clarify what you want to..because you have a future...I don't...and I don't have to explain anything I do...yes I do want to be the richest lady...and crap...those are just my dreams...I just say that make me happy...
"....he don't see you like I do....beautiful not just for show...."

Friday, June 5, 2009

And never let go.

G'mrnin world =)
I'm blogging =P This is the only thing I can do in the morning when I'm alone =/ Wanted to blog soo much..specially about some stuff that Rija wrote and i didn't like it =/ not in the sense that it was like you know bad or was great...she writes good...but I was against the way she thinks about some the womanizer and that mothers day one =/ It's not her fault either =/ we all have different views about things...couldn't blog because of 3 things =( one I never got the right time...second I felt as if I you know my blog is useless and careless piece of I write because it feels good..but I also write because I know my friends would read it...but like whats the use =/ you guys know me so well...and thirdly I didn't want to blog because checkout my blog man =P such a stupid layout =/ check out the colors =/ look at the titles I gave =P I mean I don't know =/ It's just this thing in me...I feel as if you Rija's and SaraH's and Dudy's blogs are perfect =) and and everything is like arranged properly and it looks nice...You guys are so neat =/ and I'm's hard to believe I'm a part of you guys XD and here I am saying it again...we all are different =)
It's the third day since the last exam =/ first day was great..enjoyed like hell with Hiba and Ramsha =)
The second day sucked...Don't know how the third day will be...It's going to be least that's what I'm telling myself =/...
For sucks at the moment...Just so confused these days...I'm so upset these days...I know why I'm such a cry-baby =/ It's just that at this age I'm going through alot of bad times...and when something happens or somebody says somethig to matter how small or silly it is...this one little thing..piles up on to the huge mountain of tensions and worries I already have...and when it does...heart starts feeling heavy...and I then i start crying =/
Just want God to do break this take it all away...
I don't know when am I going to see bhai =( If he comes...everythings going to be better...I'll be is so incomplete without you bhai XD my life is incomplete without you XD
I always wanted to have loads of more brothers...and give them all my love...and be the best sister ever...(which I am now too =P)...(If we think about it =/ I wanna give all my love to so many people =P...and I want to be the best-something always XD I don't know if that is like you know mean of me or something =/ Wait. I'm crazy. Thats not mean of you Nosh :| Stop thinking like this XD *shakes nosh* I AM going to be the grandmother =) ) ----> o crap I hate that double line =/...yea so I was saying be the best sister ever...i never realised that how lucky I am to have at least 1 brother...until I met SaraH...and since then...I have thanked God so much...for giving me bhai...and I learned a lesson from matter what the thing is...never be greedy...thank God for what he gave you XD
When he'll come I'll make sure he fixes my sound card =/ I'm so bored without...the music I download..have to make sure they are mp3...and then I transfer them to my cell...and I have to watch so many movies and stuff =( have to wait for Annie to come home so I can use her laptop...and seriously I don't like using the laptop..I'm way more comfortable with my this stupid computer...I love you computer =)
It's going to be so cool...having him around...he'll take us out =) and playing late night with Annie and Bhai is so awesome...and he'll buy coffee and ice-creams for us...and we will also go to Dad's a little hiking...(once Annie held camels poo =P poor thing =P she didn't know what it was :P and the other time...we were up on the mountain...and she's walking walking walking...and she fell inside a hole-type-thing haha and when we pulled her out she was all brown and sandy=P and the pictures we took were so crazy :P Last time when we went...everybody was like on the top of the mountain...haha and i was not even near half of it =P and I was all so freaked out and bhai took pictures of me from above and I looked like a tiny idiot sitting down on the rocks =P and I was so freaked out that I couldn't go down =P and my lovely jannu bhai came all the way from the top...held my hand...and helped me down XD..)...and and bhai would ask me to make tea for him...and I'd make excuses and faces XD but then I'd make it for him...because he is my bhai =) and I love him alot =)
I'm happy again =) sometimes blogging makes me sad...and then at times it makes me smile...because I realise more...and the importance of the thing I write...increases...wait that didn't make sense =/ o crap.
"....want to wrap you in my arms....hold you close to my heart...and never let go..."
(It's not a lyric =P I wrote that myself *proud smile* OK Nosh. Enough :| It's not a big deal :| yes it is =( OK OK...what ever makes you happy -----> Rija's line XD)