E-less ----> E-full.

It’s going to be one cold piece of a useless post. In no mood to write. Didn’t want to blog for the same old reason or something.
I shall not use any emoticon. To show how dead I feel. I’m a living zombie. See.
Oh, Uncle Mansoor had a daughter/son [Yes, Mrs. Roohinas husband] Mum heard it’s a son…And when somebody came to give the Akeeka [or whatever the spellings are] ki meat…and told her it’s a ______ she heard “a daughter”.
If it’s a daughter…that’s so good mA…but yes I know nobody can take Khaulas place…the small white face with a red nose [because of some allergy]…She was so tiny…The last time I saw her before the accident was when…I was coming home back from school...and there she was in the car…window was half rolled down…and she smiled XD [I had to use it XD] and waved at me XD…I can still see it clearly XD…and I just smiled back at her…and the last time I met Mrs. Was 3 days before the Eid…the same week of their accident XD…the last thing she said to me was…smiling…when she was on the stairs…“Study hard…Get a good result”.
When we got the news…I didn’t cry…have never cried for people I know…but I do when it’s some stranger…that night I did though…not because she’s gone…just the thought of dying was killing me…I fear death…more than I should I think…at nights I’d be thinking what would happen if I died…how would people I know react…what would I do if somebody close to me died XD….and then there would be tears…and then I’d just wipe them away and cover my face with the blanket…or just bury my face in the pillow…trying to comfort myself…When I was little…was scared of sleeping in dark [but now I can’t sleep with light :P I need it to be dark…] and I would take off my glasses and I would see shapes and I’d quickly hide my face…just like an ostrich…[Don’t know if they really do put their heads in sand when they are frightened]…trying to feel safe…trying to hide from things that don’t even exist…got the same habit abhi tuk…
-Pause-
The part of the post written above “Pause” was at night :P I’m in a different mood now :D I feel nothing :P no feeling :D it’s 6:11 a.m exact.
-Continue- :P
From this pause-continue-thing I just remembered what I wrote for somebody’s birthday 8-)
Anyways that’s history. Hope it doesn’t repeat.
So got a lil party at my place tonight. Uf. *khaa-peesh* ^_^ :P
So lately…I’ve been using lots of emoticons to express myself…my feelings to other people…like literally ALOT of emoticons…Somebody would write a whole big thing or whatever….and my reply would be one tiny emoticon…With every sentence I write you’d be seeing a “:P” :P
And when I started the post…it was SO hard for me to not to put any emoticon =( :P
My day starts…I literally waste it :D :E Sit here and there…help mum…net net and net :P though I do nothing much ^_^ I just sit on the chair thinking about crap that is of no use anymore :P and there the day has finished…
And yesterday night I so wanted to be lost…to be free…of everything…to be no one….to not know anyone…or to be known…to be an invisible Sheena…who would just live in her world of dreams…free of problems…but in the end it’s not possible…here I am stuck in the world with no choice…who doesn’t have problems? Everybody does…they just have a little different one…nobody is always happy…
I miss my taya a little bit…people who did not read my tweets…I will tell you about him here…
He is my dads step-brother…and what I hear from my cousin [taya’s 37 year old daughter] that he and dad NEVER fought unlike the rest of their brothers…not a teeny meeny bit…he’s 85 XD mA…and has perfect eye-sight :D and he was making fun of me :P he loves me more than the rest :P I guess that’s why I’m missing him right now :P =)
He’s very naughty :P He’d never share his peaches with anyone :P
Mum said he looks exactly like Granddad XD and also the way he was joking and walking XD Dad looked so young infront of him :P Don’t mistake him with his wrinkles :P touch him…he’s got a perfect strong hand mA =) and lol he’s a chain-smoker :P he smokes and smokes and smokes…XD
Gosh and everyday I look different :O = Or it’s just my eyes playing tricks on me =/ :P
And the result…lol….when I saw mine…everybody was sleeping :P and I didn’t know what to do :P cuz I was freaked out when I saw the C :P So I woke up Annie…whispering.. “I got my result…I got my result…” :P she got up quickly :P and was like “What? :D” and I said..“A..A…C’…and there I started crying…and when I saw her happily jumping and asking me if I told mum…I said “No..” she ran to tell mum :P I was shocked to see her reaction :P Maybe cuz she and bhai didn’t do that well…and now seeing her sister doing a little better made her happy XD and if it wasn’t for Annie…I would be still sitting crying ^_^ :P regretting wasting my time and stuff…but one thing…I did work XD for physics specially :P though it didn’t look like that I was working…but I did…I went through every physics A-level book in my house :P made notes ^_^ died again and again with it :P did past papers…checked them myself…this what I could do…but maybe I did miss out something…so anyways…out of the 6 members in my family….I don’t care about the result anymore :D :P and bhai and Annie are VERY happy :D (L) [and Annie is still with her promise to buy me a laptop :D :D :D She said in Jan. iA :D :D] and forget Laiba :P and mum is like ok…happy with the A’s…a leeeetl bit sad that her daughter got a C in such a situation XD…dad was not okay at first :P I couldn’t look at him in the eye…I was too embarrassed…I had failed him XD I had let him down…but then as you see…Annie rocks =) XD and IS THE BEST SISTER EVER! She explained dad…it’s like the words are magical when she explains people :P XD (L). And there…he was fine :D :D
A week or two back I had SO many dreams…now it’s like…I don’t have much dreams anymore XD…lol my dad everyday is having dreams about meeting King Abdullah or something :P
Yesterday night I tried studying :P Back in bhais room :P First jub mein bed per laiti…I wanted to sleep so badly :P then I forced myself up and scolded myself :P …I went to the table…took out my books…and then I was like naah it’s ok nosh you can study on the bed…and it’s gna do o harm :P I went to the bed :P sat P phir lait gayi :P opened my book :P took the blanket :P and there I was sleeping :D :E :P
And lol bhai ka frnd came…and bhai didn’t know I was sleeping in his room :P he told his friend to go in is room :P and he himself went to talk to mum :P
And tau hona kia tha :P his friend saw me sleeping:P and lol he got embarrassed and went out of the room :P and waited for bhai to come back :P and then I remember getting up and running to Annie’s room with my scarf :P *hehem*
O gosh…itni lambi post ^_^ don’t feel like reading again and taking out my mistakes :P
Just gna shut my comp…and gna lay dowwwwnnnn agaaaaaaaiiinnn :D :D :D :D
G’nyte.
G’morning.
=)
:P
[So even though I didn’t feel like blogging…IF somebody asks me too…I’d write it then :D :D (L)] – wanted to blog about a lot more…but I don’t remember half the stuff :E.
[Hey did anyone understand "E-less --> E-full" :D :D ??]